The massage is outside amidst lush tropical gardens in Hawaii overlooking the ocean in my private “hale.” Gentle breezes brush my naked body. The sounds of the ocean calm my mind, body and soul. The silence allows my body to float with ecstasy receiving the warmth of the shells as I close my eyes and allow my body to receive it ALL. The massage ends with my body awakening in absolute bliss. I am told to take all the time I want to enjoy the breezes, the moment. My hand slips downward toward my “magic genie” clitoris. Reaching over with my other hand, I find the tube of Aloe Cadabra scent of French Lavender that I brought along for this moment, hoping I could experience this. My hands join together in the touch, the stroking, and the bliss. The aloe feels smooth and silky and blends with the smell of the Hawaiian island flowers in the garden. I feel so alive in every cell of my body, mind, and soul. I am coming, coming, coming… into joy that goes beyond everything I have ever known. I savor this moment, and will always!
Sexual Trauma: Awakening the Body from Trauma
Carolyn Braddock, Dr. Aloe
Educator, Consultant, Author of Body Voices
Aloe Cadabra is “As Natural as Nature.” This product clearly fits with my work of over 40 years of specializing in trauma, and especially Sexual Trauma, which can clearly manifest in difficulties in relationships and sexual expression. (Sexual expression is one of my most favorite topics… besides golf.) I wanted to be able to help survivors to explore their sexuality, learn about sexual feelings, and FEEL them with the help of a product that is natural, and gentle, and free of harmful chemicals. There is an episode of a TV show, a young women describes an orgasm as “God waking up inside me.” To unwind sexual trauma is to celebrate the body, mind and spirit as a whole, what I call the many body voices of the body….hence my book called Body Voices.
When trauma is unwound, sexual expression may also be a celebration of a healthy, trusting, and loving relationship. The FIRST step in healing is AWARENESS, developing an awareness of what is being spoken and thought as well as awareness of body responses, sensations and feelings. The sexual journey is a rich one, demanding that we wholly explore, experience, and look at the old messages, patterns, and barriers to fullness. Many trauma survivors do not know their bodies – what their bodies look like, how they function, and where certain body parts are located. Then of course, there are the negative messages, shame and guilt.
I celebrate this natural product of 97% aloe… putting something so natural, clean, and that feels so good, silky, and smooth (not slimy) in such a sacred connection with the body, mind, and soul. The product is balanced and therefore helps to balance the user.
I know that my many years of experience (and silver hair) in the field of psychology, sexuality, and working with sexual trauma manifestations with clients and therapists nationally and internationally, would be valuable in helping to find a sexual lubricant product that looks good, feels good, and IS GOOD! Celebrate this product being available to help with the discovery of Self…the Self that is unwinding the trauma, to learn what feels good by experimenting with touching the body, and experiencing sensations….old feelings that may reoccur and remember the trauma, and new ones that empower. Experiment with a vibrator. Aloe Cadabra won’t harm sex toys. Go slowly…notice the feelings and where the body begins to awaken to sensations. Notice the thoughts. As a sensation begins to intensify, relax into it, and “ride the wave.” You are in charge of YOU now! This is YOUR body that belongs to YOU. Try out different scents: Natural Aloe, French Lavender, and Tahitian Vanilla.
Check out some of the earlier blog posts for some more ideas!
The Quickie: Lube
Do you remember when lubricants were taboo to talk about? When you had to ask for lubricants from the pharmacist at your drug store? When there weren’t many options? When other intimate and feminine hygiene products weren’t talked about? Boy have things changed. I was recently out to lunch with a close friend, in her 30’s, who owns her own business and is highly successful. She asked what I was up to and I mentioned Aloe Cadabra.
Without blinking an eye she said, “do you know what a big deal that is? Sometimes, my husband and I (also a business owner) don’t have time for all the warm ups. This stuff would be awesome. We can get right down to things with a “quickie lube,” enjoy a great experience with each other and then move on to our hectic schedules, physically, mentally and emotionally fulfilled. We wouldn’t want to do that every time, but boy would it be great for those high stress times.”
We say bravo! Enjoy a quickie lube with yourself or someone you care about. Enhance it with a great all natural lube you can feel good about, like Aloe Cadabra. And enjoy all life has to offer. Even when there isn’t a lot of time to enjoy it!
Can I Use Backyard Aloe As a Personal Lubricant?
Well, we believe the better question is how much fun would it be to have sex on your hammock in the backyard? Or on your swing set? Or under the stars with a warm blanket and some good wine? Those questions withstanding, many people have used raw aloe as a personal lubricant. In fact, that’s how we discovered the magic of aloe and experienced our first of many magic moments! We picked it right from our fields, filleted it and used it as not only a lubricant, but also a moisturizer. It worked unbelievably well. But, it was a bit runny, was difficult to work with and took away the spontaneity (who wants to fillet an aloe stalk when they’re ready for something more)? And, you of course need to be careful to make sure you get all the dirt off, don’t leave any of the prickly skin or have any bugs. As with anything you put on or in your body, you should make sure you aren’t allergic and if you feel any discomfort, immediately stop using it.
Raw aloe can be sensual, slippery fun and potentially healing (the healing properties of Aloe have been known for some time). But why go through the hassle of filleting the aloe, keeping it cool, delicately insuring it there’s no dirt or bugs in it, when you can get the same effect with out it, in a ready to use bottle that also includes incredible fragrances from organic essential oils? When trying to figure out which lubricant to choose, a lubricant with a lot of aloe is great for you, so more can be better! Be sure to read the label carefully; many tout having aloe vera or other great things like Vitamin E, but when you get down to it, there isn’t much of it in the bottle. So, read the label carefully and always look for a product like Aloe Cadabra, which has more than 95% organic aloe vera, along with some incredible other food grade ingredients that help provide thickness, lubricity, sensual aromas and other great qualities that make it fantastic for you and your partner or by yourself. So, use that aloe in your backyard. Better yet, use Aloe Cadabra while in your backyard…under the stars!
Yes! Help for Vaginal Dryness is Here
The topic of vaginal dryness is so common among women particularly between the ages of 40 and 60 that it is often a topic to be shared when the “girls” get together. Yes, it is a problem that forms a common bond, and has a definite effect on the sex life. Check out the facts below.
A healthy vagina, which is made up of many layers of cells, stays lubricated with clear fluid, which keeps the vagina healthy, elastic and noticeable when you are aroused. How much lubrication occurs is determined and affected by different factors such as: low estrogen, menopause, stress, fatigue, chemo therapy, medications, allergies, pregnancy, childbirth, drying and chemically based soaps, and of course emotional stress.
Dryness can cause irritation, itching and burning, avoidance of sexual intercourse, and lack of libido, thinning and drying of the vaginal wall. Emotional stress can be a huge factor in dryness. Many women believe and have heard that sexual drive/libido is supposed to go away during menopause. Literature and studies have shown, however, that sex drive is not automatically assumed to be a factor in menopause.
Some 80% of women report symptoms of vaginal dryness during perimenopause and menopause. Other studies indicate that 95% of women report some occasional vaginal dryness.
OK…those are some facts. Now let’s deal with some solutions and create healthy ways to have a relationship between the body, and sexual experiences. What can YOU do?
1. Drink plenty of water (not soda) to ensure that the body is well hydrated. Balance the diet. Add some nutritional supplements if needed.
2. Be careful about using harsh chemicals, soaps, douches and other products containing allergens, dyes and fragrances.
3. Exercise to increase the “chi” or chi energy and breath moving through the body.
4. Stimulate your sexual organs. Lubrication may take a bit longer, but it is still there. Spend time self pleasuring. With a partner, slow down, take your time.
5. Use some personal lubricant that is natural, and will help to restore your own vaginal moisture. Aloe Cadabra is a magical gel that is 95% organic aloe.
6. Affirm you! You may be getting older, but certainly sexual activity can be joyous and exciting. Keep the juices flowing.
CLICK HERE to read more from our multi-part exploration of vaginal dryness that discusses the causes, opportunities for enhancement, and ways to get your juices flowing led by Carolyn Braddock, a renowned educator, coach and wellness Professional.