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Speak Up

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Three ways to be heard at work when you’re naturally introverted

There are distinct benefits to being both an extrovert and an introvert. But when you lean more toward the quieter side, it can be challenging to make sure your voice is heard, especially at work. Speaking up as an introvert can be stressful, but there are tips that can help you use your voice in a way that feels comfortable and optimal for you. Here are a few, as recommended by clinical psychologists Michael Alcée and author Jennifer B. Kahnweiler.

First tip: write down your ideas first. Introverts tend to process a lot, and Alcée says that it can be helpful to write down your thoughts before a meeting. That way, you can allow yourself the space to clarify your ideas first, so you’re then more comfortable presenting them to others.

Second tip: guard your alone time. Because introverts tend to be more introspective, it’s helpful to carve out time during the day to let your thoughts percolate and recenter yourself. That alone time is “preparation time.” By taking the time to be alone during the day, you can feel more ready to speak up when you’re in a crowd, or even in a one-on-one meeting with your manager.

Third tip: be open about the way you communicate. There’s no shame in being a quieter person, so there’s no reason not to be upfront and direct about it — which is why Kahnweiler suggests telling your colleagues that you’re more introverted. Jumping into a conversation can perhaps be overwhelming at first, so letting the group know that you’re quieter right off the bat can help you feel more comfortable in the room. Then you can ease your way in. READ MORE

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Speak Up!

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Striking up a conversation with a stranger may make you happier

Most people spend part of their everyday life surrounded by strangers, whether on their daily commute, sitting in a park or café, or visiting the supermarket. But how many times have you hesitated to interact with these strangers out of the belief that it would make both of you uncomfortable? It turns out that these beliefs, while common among people, may actually be unwarranted.

Research shows that people tend to underestimate the positive impact of connecting with others for both their own and others’ wellbeing. For example, having a conversation with a stranger on your way to work may leave you both feeling happier than you would think. What’s more, research has also found that simply reaching out to a fellow human being to say hello may be better received than people realize. Few start a conversation with a stranger, but most seem happy to talk if you reach out with good intentions.

These brief connections with strangers are not likely to turn a life of misery into one of bliss. However, they can change unpleasant moments – like the grind of a daily commute – into something more pleasant. So, the next time you’d like to help a stranger with something, or strike up a conversation, but are worried about how they might react, simply give it a try. READ MORE

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Is There a Better Way to Argue?

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Science tells us these are the two best techniques for arguing successfully

Anyone who has argued with an opinionated relative or friend about immigration or gun control knows it is often impossible to sway someone with strong views. That’s in part because our brains work hard to ensure the integrity of our worldview: We seek out information to confirm what we already know, and are dismissive or avoidant of facts that are hostile to our core beliefs. But it’s not impossible to make your argument stick. And there’s been some good scientific work on this. Here are two strategies that, based on the evidence, seem promising.

First strategy: if the argument you find convincing doesn’t resonate with someone else, find out what does. Whenever we engage in political debates, we all tend to overrate the power of arguments we find personally convincing — and wrongly think the other side will be swayed. What both sides fail to understand is that they’re arguing a point that their opponents have not only already dismissed but may be inherently deaf to. In a study done by Robb Willer, a professor of sociology and psychology at Stanford University, that conservatives would be more willing to support a hypothetical liberal candidate for president if that candidate used language that reflected conservative values. For instance, conservatives who read that the candidate’s “vision for America is based on respect for the values and traditions that were handed down to us…” were more likely to say they supported him than when the candidate’s message was framed with liberal buzzwords. Willer’s work is based on moral foundations theory, which is the idea that people have stable, gut-feel morals that influenced their worldview. When you reframe the morals of what you argue, it’s possible to change one’s mind about it.

Second strategy: Listen! Your ideological opponents want to feel like they’ve been heard. In a study published in 2016, researchers found that it was possible to reduce prejudice and sway opinions on anti-transgender legislation, with one 10-minute conversation. Why? Because the ones arguing against the legislation felt like they were being listened to. When you listen and highlight each other’s shared humanity, you have a far better chance of delivering your message. For more details on how to argue according to science, have a look here. READ MORE

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Baby Talk

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Chatting with your baby is a simple way to boost their intelligence

The next time you see a parent chatting with their drooling baby, don’t think of them as crazy, Instead, think of them simply as smart parents! According to new research from the University of York, the number of words a child hears doesn’t just improve their vocabulary and linguistic development, it can also contribute to the development of nonverbal abilities like reasoning, numerical understanding, and shape awareness.

Apparently, growing up in a language-rich environment helps shape the way a child understands, views, and uses language. This was proven by the positive association researchers found between cognitive abilities and the quality of adult speech children heard (based on both the number of words and lexical diversity). So, if you want to help your child become an articulate genius with a vast vocabulary, make sure to talk them frequently and positively. READ MORE

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Loving Together

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How to build stronger synergy between you and your partner

You always have a choice to empower your heart and your partner’s to synergistic action, or not. And so does your partner. When you realize you always have a choice to emote words or actions that “move” you and your partner’s mind and body to action primarily from emotions of fear — or love — then you understand pure power is always a choice, and breath away for each. But if you’re not quite sure how to amp up the synergy in your relationship, these four steps will help show you the way. First, pause to understand fear as an action signal and teacher. Fear is an opportunity to listen and tune in more closely. It may be a call to take a seemingly small action, such as to pause and be aware of your self-talk, and better understand how your thoughts, emotions, physical sensations and actions all work together. When fear rears its head, the winning argument can be to respond by being present in mind and body, an essential first step to better understand self and other, to empathize, validate one other’s feelings and wants, and so on. Second, resolve to never let fear take over your imagination. You know when fear is in charge of your mind and body because, automatically, you’re in a rabbit hole where everything seems dark. Rather than shrink from the discomfort of fear, opt to transform fear to powerful energy. And invite your partner to do the same! It will take both of you working together. Third, shift away from bullying to inspiring partnership and teamwork. No matter how logical an argument, if one partner comes to feel they are getting the short end of the stick, or being asked to act against their own behalf, both will lose with high costs to their relationship. The real winning argument is an offering of mutual understanding of one another’s wants and yearnings. Four, think of actions that keep you following your bliss. As partners, clarify and share a vision that inspires you both to grow heart-power synergy in your relationship. Brainstorm conscious ways you each take action, some small steps, if only a smile, to reinforce the positive direction you yearn to take or goal to realize. READ MORE

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