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EIGHT SIMPLE STEPS

TAKE A LOOK AROUND
Stand in your bedroom and take a 360-degree turn. Are there piles of unfolded laundry on the chair? Stacks of old magazines in plain sight? Bills and receipts on the bedside table? According to sex and Feng Shui (fung-SHWAY) consultants, all of these can put the kibosh on your sex life. If you want it to be a sexy sanctuary, follow the advice of these experts.

1. LOSE THE CLUTTER
Dana Korey, founder of Away with Clutter, describes clutter as the ultimate barrier to relaxation. If you have piles of junk that remind you of daily living, that’s what you’ll be thinking about. “It’s the equivalent of bad breath, body odor and being a bad kisser,” says Korey. According to clinical sexologist, Professor Ganesan Adaikan, a cluttered (and/or dirty) bedroom can kill the sizzle in your sex life and may even cause arguments. Get rid of the kids’ toys, exercise equipment and papers on top of dressers and nightstands and you’ll feel a lift in your libido.

2. PUT ELECTRONIC DEVICES OUT OF SIGHT

It’s almost impossible to have a device-free bedroom, especially for couples living in smaller spaces, but every expert will tell you to get rid of electronics. That includes the TV.
“Bedrooms aren’t meant to be home offices,” says Christine Eisner, author of Comfort Living: A Back-to-Basics Guide to a More Balanced Life. “That means no TVs, no laptops, tablets, or phones in plain sight.” Other authorities recommend an armoire for the TV and computer. If you must have your cell phone nearby, silence the ringer.

3. KEEP THE HANDY STUFF HANDY
Stop the hunt for sex-ccessories. It’s a real sex buzz-kill when the time is right and you and your partner are anxiously searching the bedroom for the sex toys. These should be easy for you to find and hard for strangers, according to Nina Helms, founder of Devine Toys. She recommends clean, locked, opaque storage. But don’t lose the key!

4. NO FAMILY PICTURES
Pictures of your parents, siblings and kids can be distracting. “Keep only photos of you and your partner in the bedroom,” says Feng Shui expert, Salvator Manzi. He advises photos that inspire pleasant memories “or nature scenes with smooth curves and warm colors.” And no pictures of ex-partners!

5. BREAK OUT THE LUBES

Lubricants can take your experience from good to great. Add spice and variety with Aloe Cadabra® lubricant and moisturizer. Since it contains 100 percent food-grade ingredients, it’s completely edible and it comes in a variety of scents and flavors. Choose your favorite.

6. USE SOFT LIGHTING
A fully lit room can kill the mood. Feng Shui expert, Rodika Tchi advises that you have several levels of lighting in your bedroom to introduce a romantic glow with soft light for those magic moments or use dimmer switches to adjust the lighting volume. Tchi says candles are the best Feng Shui lighting, “because they clear the energy and create an intimate, warm, and healing atmosphere.” But play it safe. Use the flameless, simulated type or the kind that comes in its own container to avoid fire.

7. BAD BEDSIDE MANNERISMS
Obviously, you should always buy a new factory-fresh bed—never a used one. King beds are luxurious but they can also function as a barrier between two people. Buy the bed that is comfortable for both of you, but if it’s a King, Salvatore Manzi advises that couples “sleep at least one night a week starting in a tight cuddle.” That’s good advice for couples in any size bed.

8. BE CREATIVE
If it’s difficult to get in the mood, try different techniques. Consider role-playing or costumes. Bring your favorite fruit in a glass bowl and feed each other. Speak in low tones. Pull out the adult movies, sexy novels or whatever else gets you going. And don’t forget the powerful effect of music; a single finger on the audio remote should fire up your playlist of soft rock, jazz or slow-dancing oldies but goodies.

You may not be able to put all of these suggestions in place at once but even a few changes can make a big difference. Take your time and discover what works for you.

SOURCES:
http://www.herworldplus.com/solutions/solutions/6-sex-drive-killers
http://www.womansday.com/relationships/sex-tips/advice/g1278/sex-at-home/
http://www.fengshui-tips.org/bedroom-feng-shui.html
http://fengshui.about.com/od/Bedroom-Feng-Shui/

The “411” on sex after 50

When did you last see a TV commercial (except for erectile dysfunction) featuring 50 and 60-something couples in loving, sexual relationships?

The advertising media would have you believe that people over fifty are pretty much “over it” when it comes to sex. They portray people whose lives are focused on taking grandchildren to the park; clipping coupons for early bird dinners; watching TV re-runs of Seinfeld, and spending a lot of time going to five different doctors for those inevitable aches and pains.
Our survey said…
Although hundreds of surveys have been published on sexual behavior after age fifty, there are also studies to show that many people first want to know what is “normal” for others in their age group before they disclose their private bedroom secrets.

“People are often curious about others’ sex lives,” says Debby Herbenick, associate director of the Center for Sexual Health Promotion or CSHP. “They want to know how often men and women in different age groups have sex, the types of sex they engage in, and whether they are enjoying it or experiencing sexual difficulties.”
http://www.nationalsexstudy.indiana.edu

The upside of it all
Although studies show that sex may be less frequent after fifty, there is good news: the environment is more conducive to lovemaking; the kids are out of the nest; there is more freedom; and a far less chance of becoming pregnant.

Barbara Grufferman, AARP TV host and author of Best of Everything After 50 says she and her friends once worried about becoming sexual dropouts.

“We all hated thinking that things were slowing down,” Grufferman writes. “Menopause can sometimes make sex uncomfortable…but just because a woman is post-menopausal, does she automatically lose interest? Forever?”
http://www.bestofeverythingafter50.com/sex-after-50-the-best-youll-ever-have/

Some surprising statistics and helpful info
Here’s some of what Grufferman discovered:

1. The majority of women over 50 are sexually healthy and active. If there are problems connected with menopause such as vaginal dryness, over-the-counter lubricants (such as Aloe Cadabra®) can help. The problem could be resolved overnight!

2. Men want women who want sex. It’s not so much about how a man’s partner looks or how old she is, but if she’s no longer interested in sex, that can be a turnoff for him.

3. Low sex drive is often related to health and physical problems or medications used by the man, not the woman, in a relationship. Several medications prescribed for other health issues can cause “low-T” (low testosterone) and create a domino effect. The man is not stimulated which leads his partner to believe he’s no longer attracted to her.

There were several findings of interest in another survey conducted by Christiane Northrup (AARP relationship expert), Pepper Schwartz, Ph.D. and sociologist James Witte, Ph.D.

1. About a third (31%) of couples (over 50) have sex several times a week; 28 percent of couples have sex a couple of times a month; and 8 percent of couples have sex once a month. 33 percent of respondents said they rarely or never have sex.

2. A huge majority (74 percent) of the happiest couples exchange passionate kisses at least once a week. “Kissing (passionately) bonds partners more deeply,” say the authors.
http://www.aarp.org/home-family/sex-intimacy/info-01-2013/seniors-having-sex-older-couples.html

And the best advice from Barbara Grufferman? Stop worrying about what your friends are doing in their bedrooms and light up your own life.

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